Identity Dilemmas

I never thought I would be giving this any thought, as far as religious issues go, I am happy to call myself Atheist. May be that might be a strong word, let's say not buying into the whole bending over tradition thing. Spirituality is way different.

There are approximate 270 religious groups in the world, not only is being born into one of them is random, every main element of your life is just random, for instance your gender (X or Y chromosome), The country you are born to, your immediate family, all random. 

Now consider other event in your life, your career choice, kinda chosen for you (scope, parents, society, money). Meeting someone you might assume for soul-mate, (Facebook, college, fixed arrange marriage, pub, disc, common friends, crush, railway stations, air-ports, anywhere else possibly.) In short a random event that entirely depends on your luck, you hit it off with a wrong person, too bad, bad luck, good person, great luck! In short random!   

If everything that actually matters in life is just series of random events, where we contribute hardly or just get lucky?

A goofy painter after several years turn into a monster we know as HITLER, another painter just dies starved. 

The important question is Does it matter who we are? or our life is governed by Where we were?

and that is random, because all meetings are not planned.

Life is just about showing up?

I am definitely on the verge identity crisis, any optimistic approach, do share!

The Oscar Fever!

The Academy Awards are just few hours away, and i am as enthralled and as excited as if i'll get to see them right from the location!
The Red Carpet, The Winning Moments and Definitely the results! There's so much to wait for! Here's a look back to the amazing Oscar moments!


And the Oscar goes to TOM HANKS for Philadelphia!
His speech, better then any actor who has ever won!
"Here's What I know............................the streets of heaven are too crowded with angels,we know their names,their number are thousands, for each one of the red ribbons, we wear here tonight. They finally rest in warm embrace of the gracious creator of us all. The healing Embrace that cools their fever, that clears their skin, and allow their eyes to see the simple self-evident common sense truth, that is , they manifest by the benevolent creator of us all, it was written down on paper by wise men, tolerant men, in the city of Philadelphia 200 years ago.
God bless you all, God has mercy on us all, and God bless America!"
Was their any better way to raise voice for HIV?

MATT DAMON AND BEN AFFLECK For 'Good will hunting'


Two best friends write a script, make a movie and win Oscar for it! What a story! If you haven't seen this movie, Dude you are missing something great!
Brighter note, look at their face when they win Oscar, too young, too scared, too excited. Everything raw and natural.
Jodie Foster For 'The Silence of the Lambs'
Her speech was 'I would like to dedicate this award to all of the Women who came before me, who never had the chance i have had. The survivors and the Pioneers and the outcasts, My blood and My tradition.'


Al Pacino For 'Scent of a woman'
This is one hell of a movie, and definitely Al Pacino could have lost, Denzel Washington was in the category too. He was so stumbled and bamboozled, one of my favorite Oscar moment!


Jack Nicholson For 'One flew over the Cuckoo's nest'
'i guess this proves there are as many nuts in academy as anywhere else!'
Need i say more?

Romance for realists!

These two terms seems never to overlap, one can either be romantic (Dreamer, wisher and sometimes delusional) or Realist (Rational, Practical and sometimes Skeptic). As the recent member of the latter brigade i totally understand one cannot enjoy cheesy movies served daily, but there are certain movies that can please anybody!
Before Sunrise
Ethan hawke has never been more amazing and surreal! Imagine to bump into someone with whom conversation never ends, like an easy flow. When you watch this one you won't find figments of unbelievable imposed romance.Two people meet and they talk about everything, beliefs, politics, their life, hope and aspirations. The backdrop of Vienna is spectacular.
This is one of the very few movie with 100% rotten tomatoes rating! my top favorite, i can watch it a million times...


Steal a pencil for me
Love story is best when its real! This is breath-taking documentary of holocaust surviver.Real people narrate it making you believe in healing powers of love.
 
    

Calm waters

I have been hydrophobic for as long as I remember,

Wondering how I stayed nine month inside mother’s womb!

If to learn to swim meant life,

Death martyred me,

Stubborn escapist or coward,

These bitter potions had nil effect!

So was the attempt to throw me deep,

For I would run, cry, barge out,

“Water would engulf me,

Shrink my very existence”

Saving myself from arms and hands,

Urging me to give in,

To trust and believe,

I wouldn’t, I couldn’t!

One day out of the blue,

I was desperately alone,

Without judging eyes,

Or overdose of inspiration,

Or some lame adaptation of practicality,

So I extended my foot into the water,

Held myself for the moment,

Fear didn’t surpass,

It never occurred,

Sliding inside the waters,

Floated above,

Letting it go,

Loose and slow,

Life is so much better without audience,

Calm waters!

Can't handle the fame?

Whenever a woman with a reasonably better persona then most men in her industry dies, there seems to be this constant wave of smirks and frown, most Male chauvinist pig reporters blabber 'she couldn't handle her fame!',
from Marilyn to now Whitney Houston, at least The New York Times columnist (however great they may have been!) must refrain their trashy opinion to themselves.
Female celebrities are subjected to such a higher degree of scrutiny, like every pair of shoes they put on to every outing they make, they ought make a public statement statement out of it.
Loyal fans mourned Whitney, but the merciless jabs about her drug abuse couldn't be paused in pretext of her death. Is it really the drug that drove her away or fame? The amount of pressure of being an Artist, a wife, a role-model, a Diva!
While male celebrities scuttle around fathering child all over the world, When any member among these dies,
'Its Tragedy!'
Screw the testosterone driven columnist!
      

Keep the Change By Nirupma Subramanian

This novel is a complete chick-lit one for Indian Teenage girl. We are the ones who hide Cosmo Under our pillows like they are some bomb destined to explode at our face when caught, wondering rather brooding how could Carrie Bradshaw and we share the same planet?

B. Damayanthi, hates her name, hates her uneventful life in Chennai, where she is malignly framed by stars (& parents) to marry a Tam brahmin boy. Twenty six year old, and still lacking adventure in her life, she applies for a job in Mumbai. Can a good Girl really have a good time? 

Well read this one and may be you could understand that! 

Nice humor content for targeted audience. Rating is so not my forte, but all i can say is its not 'i met a hunk and we fall in love' kinds. Its funny, witty sometimes, manages to keep me glued till the end. Damn easy five hour read. 

   

EPISODIC STORY WRITING

Page 9
Dear Neha,
I can't believe it would be two weeks here! Two more to go. Guess what? Arnav called me and after few awkward moments, we talked about it all. It felt so light.Friends remain friends forever. I went for Ek Main Aur Ek Tu, you would be laughing your ass off! I know it's kinda hard to imagine myself watching a wreck romantic movie, and swear your loyalty to me now! when all those stupid lovey dovey things were going on, i thought about Arnav. Slap yourself, i kept blabbering this until the one girl next to me actually slapped me. Is there something wrong with me?
Arnav is probably the last guy i wanna date! my reasons are as follows :-
1. He knows all about me! In matters of relationship ignorance is bliss.
2. He is five year elder to me, and at least ten year immature.
3.There has to be something wrong with me, why else would i be making this list?
All through this time i keep wondering if it's ok to be in a relationship with someone, or even fall for them when they are the one who inspire you, and you can easily discuss your screwed up life with them! Think about it, this is no bloody Valentine day, where Jennifer Garner strolls back to Ashton Kutcher and they kiss!
Oh god no!
This is real life and he is my buddy, the one person i could chat my heart out about relationships and how love sucks! This is like inviting 'MISS COMPLICATION' to dine with me!
So its right, Kareena Kapoor did the noble thing by pushing Imran Khan away from relationship front to friendship front. Now that i think about it, ugh! Arnav and me, i would have lost it.
Anyways on the serious front now, I met this guy Sahil, (really this time!) We went on simple coffee, no big deal and movie.He is ruggedly handsome, but boring, the closest he has ever come to reading a novel is Chacha Chaduri, which is so not my type! We will just date casually for two weeks, and bid goodbye. After all a girl can't be slut for wanting some company.
Your finally at peace friend
Rehya 

BEWARE!

These are five people you are never suppose to date, at any condition!
*Your best friend's brother :- Imagine the only person in the world you could really confide into, and now you     simply cannot! If you wanna bitch about the guy, swear, or make plans to dump him, she won't be the shoulder to lean onto! After all the mess, post clean-up, still the grim of awkwardness won't be dusted off. Post the break up if you ever bump into him or his new girlfriend, it would be as tormenting as watching Mr & Mrs Smith would have been for Jennifer Aniston.
In case of boys, your best friend will kill you if you screw up with his sister!
* 'The hot guy i can't get?' his brother :- Awkward. Weird. Preposterous.The worst way of being around your crush is to date someone closer to him.
*Your Friend's X :- X has already been for test drive and failed! Why would you do that? Unless he is super hot or you are drunk, Stay Away!
*Stalker :- Please for god's sake don't melt with those adulations. If someone is persistent chances are of him being Fetishist. Ugh i said that!
* 'Guy is good but you are Despo' Never ever date any guy in any possible dimension if you are desperate just to have something real and sensible in your life.Love gives many things but can't really yank you out of your lack of direction shell!
*Teacher :- I am so getting busted for this thing but anyway.Never date your teacher, even if he is just few years older and looks like the best gene pool. Even if he has blue eyes and Keats is his favorite poet.He can screw up your grades if things go bitter, If you don't think of it as a problem, consider the girl who accompanies you in and out of the class...Don't date him even if he is a perfect gentleman with adorable Spanish Dialect. Ok, fine! Go date him, I think i lost the argument...

WHITNEY HOUSTON

Today's post was suppose to be about Unconventional on-screen pairing, but screw it! My morning started with the Whitney Houston's death news, the first person i messaged, My BFF, her response was exactly the same as mine 'Please tell me its not a suicide!'
The first time i heard her voice, it was a duet with Mariah Carey 'When you Believe', her voice so powerful that it felt right to the soul.She wasn't a perfect role-model, but when she sang 'there can be miracle, when you believe' all my skepticism was washed away.
Since morning i have been listening to 'One moment in time' over and over again, i would be lying if i said i didn't cry.  For so many reasons this song describes her life perfectly.

Each day I live
I want to be
A day to give
The best of me
I'm only one
But not alone
My finest day
Is yet unknown

I broke my heart
Fought every gain
To taste the sweet
I face the pain
I rise and fall
Yet through it all
This much remains

I can't believe there won't be again a Whitney song. The cause of death is still not disclosed, yet I am desperately wishing its not a suicide.

ON behalf of all those Fans who loved her powerful magnificent persona,

WE LOVE YOU WHITNEY,

MAY YOUR SOUL REST IN PEACE

HOPING YOU FOUND THE FREEDOM YOU SUNG ABOUT. 

EPISODIC STORY WRITING

Page 8

Dear Neha,

Ok, I owe this to you, talking to dad was not a bad option; at least I had the opportunity of working in a ‘Real publishing house’. This is a really cool summer internship program, and had the experience of meeting a really hot guy Named Jimmy, he has the perfect accent possible. Every time I find myself stuck with certain manuscripts, he tosses his perfect hair, marches swiftly in my direction, smiles his ‘oh dear!’ smile and there, right at that moment I feel like my world has stopped, waiting for him to overwhelm it with his presence. We have coffee breaks and he accompanies me all the time. God! Chandigarh, its such a nice place, Exciting, so many different people. I am absorbing every moment I possibly can.

This is the exact version I need you to narrate Arnav, last time in my winter vacations, when we were fighting, you exaggerated it to the point that it sounded I am planning to have babies with the guy.

On your special demand the real version,

I wanna kill Arnav, talking to dad was the worst option; this job sucks, I don’t really have anything to do here, except to look busy, read goofy stuff, smile (my jaw aches!). I mope from one corner to other (they didn’t even have the courtesy to provide a temporary sitting arrangement.) Rarely do I have water cooler moment. There’s this guy name Jamshed who heads the intern team, his hair are replete with oil, every time he smile his crooked teeth spook me out (haunts me!) and right at that moment I feel my world has come crashing onto me. There’s no one to accompany me to coffee breaks. God! This place is freaking me out, bored to death. I wanna throw up for every moment I had here.

Your sad friend

Rehya!

    

Cupid, Gloom and Fate

Here are some likes of Romeo and Juliet, The ones who had Their love story printed on the face of earth for many generations to come ...
Caesar-Cleopatra-Antony
I Ain't talking about a dirty threesome, In fact the story of how Cleopatra hid herself in carpet, Rolling out in front of Caesar sensuously and rest the history narrates very well.She became the Queen of Egypt with unbridled support from Rome.Years after Caesar was betrayed and stabbed, Marc Antony, who had always been struck by the beauty of his friend's mistress, became her lover (much later, mind you!). Shakespeare wrote about Cleopatra, that she was one of those rare kind of woman, whom age can never wither, A man can never grow out of love with her.Marc Antony left his wife, fought for Egypt, only to commit suicide.Cleopatra though captured alive, popularized the term 'Kiss of death', Apparently dying beside Antony. Her love for these two man is unquestionable, so is her beauty.


Odysseus and Penelope
These two can be termed as the perfect example of 'Waiting for you forever!'. Odysseus could hardly spend anytime with his newly-wed wife, and war drifted their routes! but not their love. The couple waited twenty years to be re-united again. While the beautiful Penelope rejected 108 suitors in hope of her husband's return, Odysseus was no less, he declined powerful sorceress's offer of eternal youth.(Homer is great!)


Paolo and Francesca
Francesca is beautiful and hapless wife of Gianciotto, the awful brother of Paolo. The chemistry between Francesco and Paolo develops while they read a book together, becoming lovers. (That is so my fantasy love story!). Later they were discovered by Gianciotto and killed!
 


Shah Jahan and Mumtaz Mahal
Shah Jahan had many other wives, but his heart belonged to Mumtaz. The woman whose death led to the erection of Taj Mahal. This 19th century Couple had many children.Shah Jahan mourned her death for rest of his life.


John of Gaunt and Katherine Swynford
John was an ambitious ruler, wanting to conquer, yet his war tactics would fail and funds would run out. Katherine was married to Nobleman, with whom she had two children. After her husband and John's wife
 died, they came closer. The ambitious king couldn't marry a mere noblewoman, so he went on to marry Constanza, hoping to gain power in Castile, which ultimately turned out to be a bad deal, as he relinquished his powers there. After the death of his second wife he didn't repeat the same mistake again, and tied the knot with Katherine.They were parted only by death.
   

Romantic Classics

After scrapping the bottom of barrel, I have given up trying to feel the frenzy of valentine week. I am hoping it has something to do with exams, not my incapability to release the adrenaline which has been damed (& damned) by a invisible curse of practicality. Even Keats with all his lovely verses; Jane Austen,Georgette Heyer and the likes of Hugh jackman have failed.Here are some literature classics that if you are an avid reader, caught in the cold of valentine, will make it to your 'I MUST READ' list!
1. Jane Eyre By Charlotte Bronte :- If any of you had his/her on this one before, Great! Else try reading it, for it practically captures entire journey of Jane Eyre, from childhood to adulthood, love to loss of it and Happy reunion! Among all the three Bronte sisters, Charlotte is my favorite. I haven't seen the movie based on it yet, You could try (lazy!)


2. War and peace by Leo Tolstoy :- The paradigm of romance. Leo Tolstoy is the master of plots, explorations (inner and outer). The novel is enthralling and deep . Different characters and their journeys.
CAUTION:- Beware of Translations, I began reading a crappy translation that almost sabotaged my relationship with Leo, choose the one that was translated under his nose!
  
3. Zoya by Danielle Steel :- I have given up on Danielle, most of her works are romantic Sappy crap of worthless beautiful woman, trolling around with series of monogamous relationship (that's not the part i hate) and consequently hating it (here it is!) While My hate is intense, i still love Zoya (the book Oye...)
The story revolves around a Russian girl, who manages to escape the assassination (War World 1 uprising) that finishes her family, with her grandmother to France. Its a journey of her lifetime, love lost to war, love found and again the war. (World war 2) Romantic as hell!

  
4. Lady Chatterley's lover by D.H Lawrence :- The title is evidently shouting itself 'EXTRA MARTIAL', but if you like love to be edgy, passionate and dark,pure and sweet is too conventional for you, go ahead and try. The fact that it had Obscenity trial in England will supposedly encourage you! Overall Its beautiful!
 
5. Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy :- Waffling on the waves of Extra martial, (not so valentiny!) another powerful romance by Leo Tolstoy. I read this in 9th grade (Ok, that is not a proud fact to share...) Sometimes attraction brings the worst in people, read for the plots, steamy scenes, and yes to an extent love.


P.S:- I haven't rated these in order of my liking. C'mon you can't really rate classics!

Asperger's ?

PARENTHOOD! I have been glued to this particular show for a while now. Before you think I am a weirdo, there’s a particular reason. It’s more about kids then anything else. Kids diagnosed with Asperger's, kids encountering bullying and how that affects their family.

The next episode I’ll be watching Adam and Kristen will be telling their ten year old son Max (finally!) that he has Asparager’s Syndrome, (there’s nothing to worry about! You are as normal as your uncle, who lives in a boathouse and can’t pay his taxes.) Ok, I may have extended the boathouse part, but they should have used a better role-model.

I have been thinking about this particular ‘Disorder’ for a while, lack of empathy, communication skills, and other symptoms.

If asked a complete naïve person, people with Asparager are not ‘people person’!

‘Gregarious, outgoing, fun and sociable’ take these adjectives and throw them away. I have never been a party charmer, and yes making friends is not something that’s natural. Having said so, I never thought anti-socials or loners are misfits! On the contrary I felt the ‘fun’ ones have some sort of rare talent (like dancing, singing etc etc), they work as connectors, like tendons in the body! ( Basis of my analogy was wrong, because tendons are more then bones, which obviously I didn’t know)

Turns out most of the people are social kind, the smiling confident ones, who love shindigs, are tolerably comfortable in making connections and they don’t need books, movies as conversation starters.

So where do we fit?

The ones that don’t exactly show the symptoms of Asparager (may be mild) but trying to fit for them is biting more then they could have possibly chewed, the ones who laugh, enjoy, but social gatherings are not their best show, the ones who would prefer home any day then to ‘make new friends’ ‘leave comfort zone’ and all those clichéd lines!       

 Suffice is to say i am talking about myself. Many diary entires, sick rotten poems later i have concluded Aspergers or no Aspergers i am fine with myself, however complacent that is! Having a social life is not everything! (i will deny saying that...)

  

Sit on the Sidelines and Enjoy the Damn sun!

* A friend has broken up her five-year old relationship with her obsessive a$$h%#e of a boy friend and you want to sing Hallelujah! Don't! Mourn the one that's gone. You had no Say in her choices, however disgusting they were, sit on the sidelines, provide tissue papers and enjoy coconut water!
* Your cousin calls you around 2 at night, crying that she paid 300$ instead of Rupees while shopping online for a goddamn cap, you wanna shout "Are you fucking retard, dyslexic or what?" Don't! i did and lost my sleep. Sit on the sidelines, say it happens, Use the sun cream, (whatever SPF!)
*You could see matters can be resolved, easily! Don't you dare counsel, its so not your business! The view from the sidelines is beautiful, just observe.If you ever try to bowl, you'll end up delivering a no-ball! Don't be brutal honesty personified!
* how do i look?, never say 'could be better', even to a boy!
*Mom is always right!
*You never said 'fucking reek', it was 'reeking fug' or whatever that sounds less offensive to your ears. To whoever it may concern!
*As a teenager you have the perks of mood swings, Random daydream, ogling. Adults have the perks of grounding, financial cuts and authority of laptops.
Terms and conditions apply!

Miss Anonymous

She doesn’t walk, she glides, even in those 3inch long stilettos or boots or whatever is ‘in’, even on practically hard routes where your flats sink . She doesn’t stare, but if caught in a glance, ‘take your eyes off first bitch!’ (No gender discrimination!) She doesn’t panics, but when she does, not a single cuss word will feel ignored or forgotten. It’s her innate talent to raise the mercury level of the room, figure hugging dress and just the close precision of oh! She is a ‘dick magnet’ (am sorry, not my words!) and it’s her anthem ‘SIS before Dick’. She knows Delhi routes like no other person I have met so far, she was on the forefront of ‘slut walk’ and if it was in her power they could rope in PETA activists too, while she just wanted to volunteer because of the scope of nudity it presents. If you are her friend, she doesn’t mind calling you ‘honey’ ‘darling’ or ‘sweetie’ (no gender discrimination again!), something that irritates me but nonetheless ‘I don’t care’ she is quick to shut my mouth with this. Every time I scrounge my eyes around, trying to spot her, her shrill loud yell of ‘sexy! Here’ and a guilty wave of hand, she calls me this in front of god knows how many guys! I clench my teeth; swear under my breath, only to be grabbed by her hand as if I am her ‘private property’ of the day. On my count she has dated four guys so far (record of last three months), a coffee, a lunch and ‘am sorry I am still stuck up with my past’, she carries this with no guilt. Considering myself enough of a modernist I don’t judge her private life, yet every now and then I utter ‘don’t go too far,’, and then she goes mushy, ‘you care for me honey, don’t you?’ and I just wanna say don’t call me honey! And yet I worry she might have bought herself some trouble in the form of sociopath X boyfriend, a marauding bastard, god knows how safe Delhi is for a girl with mindset of New York.

She drinks, she smokes, and I fear drugs might not be so out of reach. She is the first girl who talked me into buying my first pair of stilettos, (My BFF would have, but then she needs to talk herself first into It.) she irritates teachers so much, even the ones who see her twice a week. Every time she sees me off, she says ‘love you!’, and when initially I replied with awkward gaze, she was quick with ‘fuck off!’ now that I have grown use to her, (she calling me twice a week just to talk) I intently say ‘I love you too’ at the same time adding ‘sissy’ (just to make sure!). She says she is Samantha and I am Carrie Bradshaw, (which I don’t mind except my genre of writing hopefully will never explore that area).

Last week she shouted from a distance ‘bye sexy’ to which I mustered ‘fuck off!’ shout and the rest of the people at metro station were staring at me wide eyed, making it one of the most embarrassing moment of my life.

‘Oh boy! This girl is changing me.’  

SOULMATES

In the symposium, Plato has Aristophanes present a story about Soulmates. Evidently, god feared we humans were turning out stronger then them, in order to protect their interest they cut us in halves. (We had two heads, two set of feet and hand! Hard to even imagine) so we were assured a life of despair, search and disappointment because the other half in rarest of moments will ever come across us.

Fast forward to 2012,

Do you guys believe in soulmate?

Hell no!

Ok some of you may do, congrats because that takes a lot of faith, even mythology says otherwise. The bible story, the only reason Samson (the great warrior) died was because of his unrequited love for Delilah, who betrayed him without a tint of guilt!

And yes the great Zeus, the great Greek god cheated on his wife as often as he possibly could. Switching to Indian mythology, Ram banished his wife, on false accusation by a mere fisherman. You see where I am going with this?

Love has rarely turned out magical or blissful, except in Disney movies. People fall out of love as often as they fall in it.

May be as humans we are so quick to adapt, that the scars that should have reminded us of our lost soul-mates are healed, we have evolved so much we don’t need someone to complete us.

Shitty post when it’s all jovial valentine round the corner,

Very few of us believe in sanctity of love, waiting for the companion who could except us for what we are, without any complications, without altering the very sense of purpose in us and most of all influencing us by not influencing us. (I am not going in further detail!)  

love rarely conquers anything, but when it does, the two fly high, while we mortals always engulfed by self-doubt watch the pair living their miraculous happy ever after.    

Kudos to those who could believe in happy ever after!