wonder guys of college!

The charmer guy: - swanky branded clothes, bike or some great car! The popular guy whenever would pass you by, you’ll be intoxicated and amused by the pungent smell of deodorant. This guy would date hottest girl, will be befriended by many. Their relationship status is for public display. They may or may not be dumb.(depending how much smitten are you ladies!)

PS:- these guys change girls like cloth  

The COOL guy: - noticed the guy who somehow makes appearances at every club meeting? Baggy shirt, calm expressions. This is the guy you wanna talk to before exams! There lame jokes will give you back your smile, soothe you beforehand! They might appear flippant at times, but c’mon…isn’t this their prerogative?

The serious guy: - dressed simply, buried in some geeky book, this guy might stare at you from the corner of eye, smiling occasionally. He would be frequently involved in class discussions, making you realize he does have voice. This guy may not be super brain, but hard work goes long way!

The lonely guy:- however impossible it may seem to spot them, they are not yet extinct species. In era of ‘hey what you doing?’ they might be disturbed by you trying to mope around their personal space, and certainly they won’t regret to show it. He might be an avid reader, guitarist or something he could easily show off! But Hell he won’t!  Associated with few friends only, this guy sure knows his interest areas and sticks well within it.

The drooling guy: - no one wants to hear this! He is like the voldemort! Girls he exists! Sorry….n guys c’mon you know a friend like this….don’t you? Right from weird smile to desperate texts… he is desperate to have a girlfriend! Consider yourself warned!

The mysterious guy: - also sometimes known as the back-bencher (middle bencher) he would most definitely be clouded with protective friends. Caring, responsible. He is well versed with etiquettes but don’t you mess with him! Sometimes mistakenly considered as bad boy, if his gothic tendencies boil out too often. Attracted to him? Make sure what are you getting into…

N last but not the least…

The intelligent guy: - rarely spotted, this creature is ‘Mr. know it all!’ he glides confidently, smiles cutely. He knows what he is doing; you might hold yourself tight when he winks at you. Don’t blush, he has a fan following n he knows it…be different! Awe is the reaction he snatches from you. He gives brilliant advice, wonderful listener, n hold your breath, he would never be rude to you, coz he thinks twice before he speaks. Well, the only problem is he won’t let you get inside his head. Beware of the mastermind guy…

Satyajit Ray

Very few Indian movies make it to the heart of international audience. Satayajit Ray’s Pather Panchali is one of the those movie, that not only bewails about the poverty stricken Bengal, but the very nuances of childhood, the simplicity of living under one roof, and difficulties of trying to make both ends meet in pre-independent India.

Satayajit Ray left a lucrative advertising job, to try his hand in filmmaking. But little do we know about the filmmaker who further inspired him, and believed to leave an everlasting impact on Satayajit Ray’s filmmaking. Jean Renoir came to India during 1949’s. The filmmaker was looking for shooting locations in India for his ambitious project THE RIVER. (trailer check must!) Meeting Renoir became one of the most important experience of Ray’s life. He not only accompanied Renoir to various locations in kolkata , Renoir became his first mentor in this craft.

Speaking fondly about Satayajit Ray , Renoir once said “I think he had it (film-making) in his blood, though he is very young, he is father of Indian cinema.”

But directing Pather Panchali was never easy for Ray. Mid way shooting the movie, funds dried up which he raised by his rare music albums and wife’s jewels. It was during these hustle a friend introduced him to chief minister of Bengal Dr Bhidhan Roy, who took the responsibility of financing the movie on his shoulder.

With a bunch of amateur actors, uncanny style of filmmaking Panther Panchali was made. It was the first major Indian movie to receive first New York premiere in 1955, consequently also making it to the winning list of Cannes film festival.

Panther Panchali was a rare movie, it wasn’t a Bollywood masala movie.(AKA commercial cinema)

Neither it had actors dancing and grooving to the latest tunes, nor was it even colored. Yet it was successful in depicting India the way it was; squalid, young, poverty-stricken and simple.

Hats off to Satayajit Ray! 

THE TRUTH

I love all my cousins, but he is someone simply too fantastic!

Through the years,

I have heard your voice,

Of a boy, then a men!

Well aware how you are traipsing through time,

You lean onto me for advice,

Wish I was Asclepius, with a slight touch, obviating your woes,

“Tell me nothing but the truth ”

How can I? I mull,

“Is it exigency of our bloodline,

To suffer, to burn inside?”

“no my dear, just play along!”

That’s my sober reply!

My guilt sniggers at me,

Isn’t this my duty to protect you?

Rebel inside you if ever is unleashed,

Might turn into a truculent sinner like me! 

Trust me I have tried,

You can’t encroach your wish,

And I love you far too much,

To share the truth.

searching for inspiration? look within!

Who knows where inspiration comes from. Perhaps it arises from desperation. Perhaps it comes from the flukes of the universe, the kindness of the muses.
Amy Tan

Do you really need to be sad and melodramatically in pain to pen down lines that reflect your soul? My question is I have never seen a writer, of the past century the least, to be really happy with their life, enjoying success and writing wonderful sonnets!

Keats died young,

Tennyson best friend died a sudden tragic death,

Yeats was obsessed with a women who never reciprocated his love

Vladimir Nabokov’s father was assassinated ,  

Lets not talk about Leo Tolstoy

Ranbhir kapoor in Rockstar is told he needs to loose in love to really rise as a star! Viola that’s the formula! It’s pathetic and to a great extent true, perhaps for the craft of writing!

Elizabeth Gilbert on a TED event asserted how dangerous this phenomenon of being completely deteriorated from inside , only then you could be a real artist is!

No doubt pain is a crucial factor, it hauls us to speak, express in a never before way. But its not the only factor! All these poets and authors mentioned might have their huge set of problems, their tragic stories forced them to write, yet in their own way each of these loved the 'artmenship'. May be their writing saved them from going crazy!  

Inspiration comes from within, from passion to let go off everything and still hold yourself tight. No one in this world has to suffer to realize their huge dreams, sometimes a quiet introspection , wishful training, self motivation are just the required contents of a great work!

 so the next time i might wake up to lack of inspiration, i'll surf through all my memories, happy or sad, remembering how i stood by myself!

  

daddy on the radar

page 7

                                                                 after one year
"where the hell are you?" he shouted,
"i am in class, can you hear me?" i whispered clearly on the receiver while the sociology professor blabbered during the lecture.
Arnav kept calling me, insisting it was an important news.
"important!" he shouted again,
finally anger took the best of me,
"i am in bloody class" i said exhausted, realizing only few seconds later how my voice has elevated the suggested decibel level and entered the category of loud and clear shout!


i was suppose to meet him at Saket, he stood right across the Buddy's store, gulping flavored milk.
"what are you? two years old?"
"and hi to you too" he said taking another sip ignoring my comment for the millionths time in one year we had known each other.
"Are you nuts? you called me in middle of the class, i shouted and professor won't be seeing me for one week!"
running my eyes around while entering the select city walk i complained,
"anyways what was so important?"
just as we entered i saw Neha and Vishal approaching,
last one year we four became a sort of family, Neha and Arnav the shy innocent dedicated ones, while Vishal and i were wild child. Thanks to these two i haven't got drunk since the last catastrophe. In fact this time Neha and Arnav went with me for the final document submission day, which wasn't the last day for admissions at all!
"is this therapy again?"

note:- as a group of idiots, which officially we four are, we had a therapy thing in which any three would raise a sensitive topic and fourth one would be hauled to speak about it. Previous sessions were related to Amita, Vishal trying to quit smoking , Neha's not so friendly geek squad and yeah most were just about me.

"don't you guys have a life?"
"don't heed, she is trying to escape this!" neha interjected while holding my hand and dragging me to the coffee shop...
"your dad is in the town!" Arnav said while we slunk to the corner table...
"heyyyy!  ask for my hand in marriage...lucky for you, its the winter sale season!"
"seriously dude, she doesn't even want to...let this topic be skipped! "
Vishal said watching the frivolous display, i felt the burn again, i would rather choose to be made fun of then cry in front of these four and be pitied!
"nice suggestion, you ask!"
"we are talking and sketching a plan whether you like it or not!" Arnav looked straight to me, his voice had a scary firmness i dreaded...

weird collection day!

Five weird things you should totally have:- 

(Terms and condition apply)

v     An archaic pocket watch!

v     An old book gifted to someone else.

v     Spy cams (sorry taking a modern leap!)

v     Stamps, postcards!

v     An old trampled pair of cloth you shared with your best friend

Watching a women call the shoots onscreen is quite a treat, here are some brilliant series, genre:- women crime Thriller

5. Body of proof( two seasons as of now):- Megan hunt our very own Dana Delany aka ex desperate housewife is back with a bang. Being a screwed up neurosurgeon who lost her family to career, (divorce and then custody of her only daughter, eighteen hours working mom isn’t what the jury favors ) loses her career to the accident! She takes up the job of medical examiner. Communication has never been her forte but this time she is determined to speak for the dead! Crossing the barrier of her emotional coldness, it’s a journey of a medical examiner who tries to reestablish her relationship with her twelve year old daughter, learns friends can be made, connection can be felt!

 

4. Nikita (two seasons as of now):- escaping from the clutches of powerful agency division, who shelters and trains assassins , Maggie Q  is all set to bring justice! Take down the evil Percy (head of division). Also accompanying her in this deadly mission is Alex, as the season 1 progresses more and more secrets unravel. The one women mission causes quite a stir! Also there are some hot guys to keep you busy while Nikita gets some kick ass action!    

3. Rizzoli and isles(two seasons as of now ) :-  when I checked this one, I wondered two girls, no guy, how without a love angle will this show has anything to offer except boredom? I was 100% wrong! Jane Rizzoli is a Boston police homicide detective, accompanying her is brainy Maura, a total science geek medical examiner, who somehow never could let go her fascination with fashion!(always shows up in designer clothes!)  An unlikely pair works together! while Jane is the best ever character I have encountered yet, (including Beckett from castle and temperance from bones ) she is witty, sarcastic, caring, brave, outrageous and most of all ‘oh man! What sense of humor!’. Amazing and a promising show! 

2. Castle (four seasons as of now):- the story of the show began quite unlikely with ravaging killer murdering people all over new York city based on the book of Richard castle (best selling mystery writer) he accompanies NYPD, to solve the crime. While they find the killer, Richard castle is struck by the attractive lady cop, Kate Beckett, so much so, she becomes the muse for his next novel. This unlikely pair works to solve murder. The attraction, heated arguments and love being prominent part of the show! The relationship of castle with his daughter is one of the best part the show offers. Along with all twists, turns, and tragedy there’s the unsolved case of Beckett’s mother murder. MUST WATCH IF YOU LIKE CRIME FICTION SHOWS!

1. Bones (eight seasons as of now): - The papa and mummy of all medical examiners ever is the most sexy dedicated forensic anthropologist Temperance Brenan. While teamed with a super hot agent Sealy booth! Yet again there is palpable attraction, arguments and tensions and love and care and bla bla bla!  Unlike any other female lead, bones due to abandonment issues has learned to rationalize everything. She looks at society, people , her own feeling with an eye of alien, merely observing and breaking down into scientific anomaly, until booth turns more then just a partner for her!

Recently I had the chance of watching the movie based on the life of Sylvia Plath (any chance you interested you tube, nine to ten parts), those  who have no idea whom I am talking about (just remember once you read the poem ‘mirror’ in high school, that’s the poetess) …though how much neck deep the movie was in poetry, to me it failed to capture the essence of Sylvia Plath poetic beauty..

The one conclusion the movie directed the audience to, Sylvia committed suicide because her so called genius husband left her for other women…

She had depression as long as she remembered, intensifying after her father’s death…the reason she finally gave in to the temptation of dying was never his husband disloyalty…it was psychological condition, an illness she had.

what captured my attention though was a comment from random person, that sometimes you really can't fight depression, and its not worth it...no offence to anyone but if Sylvia would have lived a bit more she would have seen all her dreams align the way they are...yes, there was a very gloomy side to her, but there was an intellectual one too...when i read those i realize how much she wanted to live, more then she ever wanted to die! 

Bygone is bygone, what’s left behind are the most memorable words she scribbled in gloomy nights, apparently she was most productive when she was very close to death, here are some wonderful quotes,

‘I am too pure for you or anyone.’

‘Kiss me, and you will see how important I am’

‘Perhaps when we find ourselves wanting everything, it is because we are dangerously close to wanting nothing.’

‘I can never read all the books I want; I can never be all the people I want and live all the lives I want. I can never train myself in all the skills I want. And why do I want? I want to live and feel all the shades, tones and variations of mental and physical experience possible in life. And I am horribly limited.’

Remember, remember, this is now, and now, and now. Live it, feel it, cling to it. I want to become acutely aware of all I’ve taken for granted.

 

she's come undone by wally lamb

This is not just a book, its a experience you need to gift yourself! Its not a romantic saga, sometimes it gets irritatingly gloomy, but as the title has it ,its how you recover. We all have a sad song , even the slightest memory of it makes us smile , this novel to me is one of those sad song. Dolores price, the protagonist here journeys right from the innocent childhood (early 1980's) to very rough adolescence. She is humorous, sad , stubborn and yeah a normal girl with abnormal life. wally lamb discovers the essence of femininity, captures it from its nuances to BIG BIG things,covering stark realities like rape, depression,obesity, parents divorce,homosexuality, HIV... you wouldn't stop but wonder how parallels can be drawn between 1980's America and Today's India...the only problem with novel would be you might sometimes find it too depressing...its not a chick-lit novel (as i thought when i picked ). its a serious read. The author is fearless and presents the naked truth, read this one if you wanna add a substantial read to your list.

love

note:- i am not the writer for this post, i just happen to stumble upon these few responses on love, felt i needed to share them

Measuring Love is confining it
into one dimension, space
I searched everywhere to find it
but it was all along in one place.
Inside myself
beyond measure
was a treasure
Love at any weather
sun or rain
you can always try to measure
but it will be in vain

Love and Gratitude
Annie

Life is such a mystery, filled with magic and pain , destiny is a playful bitch, feeding us with mercy and disgrace, making us addicted and crave for more, leading us in wrong directions dominated by our emotions and grief just to make us learn the hard way and push us gently – sometimes just in time – into the right path.

…Nonsense. Nonsense?

Six weeks ago my biggest ambition was to push my carrier, inspired by my placement at a fashion company, and start my own fashion blog. I already wrote three, which were hardly recognized, I could barely ( and probably still can’t) compete with the competition and did not expect any miracles within the next months, but all that did not stop me from being enthusiastic and positive in pursuing my dream, because at the time I would reach my goal I would be fulfilled…that’s what I thought.

And then the 30 Seconds came along.

Six weeks later , somebody came across my little amateur blog and asked me to write a trial for her website. Awesome. So where is that tingly happy feeling everybody praises so hard that you are supposed to get after achieving a tiny bit of success?

My mind is on stand-by, my ideas gone and the display in front of me simply blank. My inspiration faded away and took a different turn….and so did my seeking for fulfilment.

That is why I decided to dedicate the very first thing I ever write, no matter if its ever going to be read by anyone or not, to what really matters in life, that inspires me, that reminds me that I am human, that kills me and keeps me alive and that makes me conscious of every single breath I take….

…Love !

Today I read a comment that said “ Love is life – and we can not say No to life”. That sentence made me smile. A sad smile. Of course one can say No to life, because life is in our hands only, no one else can decide except for us. You can either move on or let go. And then hope for a new try with a small part of your old soul. No one can tell you what is right or wrong.

I always asked myself what love actually means… towards my family, my friends, a man… what does actually define real love ? If you love others more than yourself, if you sacrifice yourself for someone, if you give up your life and use all your energy to strengthen others, if you live to make those you love happy ?

Yesterday I had a talk with my father, a man with a free spirit who taught me all my life to not look at differences in races and just focus on the human being. Suddenly this man, gave me a long list of cultures I should not consider a relationship with because it would not be accepted by the society – my friends, my brother, my aunts and uncles, my cousins and acquaintances . Really? So I have to limit my preferences for my future partner and tailor it into “ perfect culture, perfect education, perfect family background and perfect race” ?

Therefore, in order to LOVE someone, to FIND love you have to satisfy also those who you love as well, your family! Everybody needs to be happy, no one shall be hurt, and then at last you can be happy yourself? Is this real happiness? Only if you go last, it is real love? No wonder people seek for carrier, money and status if that is everyone’s perception of love. No wonder we keep on seeking for happiness and satisfaction in other directions and die unfulfilled. People who read this would sigh and say : “ Yes it is unfair, life is unfair, but we need to accept it”.

Life is fair. Life is unfair. Life just is. Its is easy to blame ungracious life and destiny for your misery or praise it in good times. What if you love every single moment of your life and fight for love?

According to my father I can DECIDE who to fall in love with.

Thinking about his words, I have to smile. Because I know that if his words were true, and one could really decide…why did he “decide” for my mother and not for an Iranian woman instead? Because he had no choice. Love knows no choice.

I almost envy those who have the courage to live and love life as it crosses their way, who jump over obstacles, who welcome pleasant und unpleasant occasions in their life, who are strong enough to take risks and who are brave enough to look love right in the eyes when she finally shows up, with no “but” with no doubt and with no giving up, ready to take up and downs, no matter how hard it seems to be achieved .

I believe that Love can not be learned , emerge or be found. I believe that love finds you , and once it crosses your way you feel the incredible connection like never before. I also believe that love only meets you once, some people might ignore it, some let it go, some are blind, some get scared and think they are not ready, some think it is not worth the hassle , some do not have the courage to pursue it because they only see the obstacles and some find it simply impossible. I do believe that an other person can cross your way, that matches you somehow, that you could spend your life with . But it is not the same as this one time you meet real love. The moment your body will die yo u will remember it. A once in a life time opportunity. Now or Never.

Love of your family is essential, but finding your real love is eternal.

I do not mean to take the love of my family for granted. I learned during my time at the orphanage in India that love of your family is not a given. I do love my family deeply, and often I find myself creating my life based on satisfying their needs and happiness. The pressure of not being selfish, of being grateful , of being a good daughter, sister, representative of my family and cultures leads me into directions my heart would never chose for. Loving your family is beautiful and should always remain, but at the end of the day your life belongs to you and it should be your goal to strive for own happiness, live your life the way it fulfils you and love. Just simply love. The people who love you are happy when they see you happy. And you are happy when you see them happy. Sounds easy right? Things seem hard, impossible, unattainable at first… but once you try and fight for it and look back… you see how simple it was. Difficulties are created by our thoughts. Thoughts create things.

‘Ask yourself if you give yourself fully or if you flee from your emotions, but do not ask yourself if your love is big enough, because love is neither big nor small, it is simply love.‘You cannot measure a feeling the way you measure a road.‘If you do that, you will start comparing your love with what others tell you of theirs or with your own expectations of love.‘That way, you will always be listening to some story, rather than pushing your emotions to their limits.’ – P.C

For now, I want to walk through my life with open eyes, see things through my own eyes, let go of limitations and discover the essential.. with my heart!

Let yourself free , have a deep look into your heart and follow your senses, you do not owe anyone anything except for yourself… until THE 30 seconds will hit you.

… Daliah

EPISODIC STORY WRITING

page 6

   "ok, that money you pick-pocketed right now it belongs to my girlfriend!" he snapped at me...

if there was some random guy i would have handed him back, but this was the thug who took my 100 bucks! i couldn't just let him walk away with it!

"prove it!" i repudiated,

"prove what?" he demanded,

"you are her boyfriend, that super hot chick...because as the experience goes i don't believe you when it comes to money..."

his face softened,in confusion mostly! 

"go to hell!" i barged in for the women checking counter. In his stupid attempt to stop me he almost was elbowed and thrashed. 

i ran past back to help him while he panted in pain,

"can't you see that was ladies' counter you retarded!"

I helped him to the closest available seat.

This time it wasn't college squalid shirt, he was in easy wear, unexpectedly smarter then before, only he wasn't (otherwise why would he get himself beaten up?)

"i just wanted her cash back!" he murmured,

"did the women guard broke your rib? if yes i am not taking you to hospital!"

"thats highly generous of you, could you get me some water? "

i bought him water ,

"she would be gone way far by now, wouldn't she?"

"are you a stalker? what's your deal?"

he soothed himself with water, gulping sip by sip, testing my patience...

"technically she is not my girlfriend... we were best friends..."

"oh god! then you began to feel for her...you proposed her, she declined your offer. " i said and sat beside him!

he didn't lie to me back then after all, he himself was one of those guys. 

"yes...and what would giving back her 500 do good to you?"

i bolted high and mimicked,

"hey hot chick aka my friend aka heart breaker i saved you bucks, now will you please marry me?"

he stared at me annoyed, his one brow floating over the other, now i knew what he would look when he was mad!

"i just wanted to confront her after the whole proposal thing falling apart" he explained or tried, mostly talking to himself.

he took a deep breath while for the first i realized what the hell was i doing, talking to a stranger. though, the notion of how i was comfortable with him (even in my tank top) did cross my mind!

"you are right, i was here just to check if she was as miserable as she made me!"

"clearly she wasn't! look at that huge purse, if few cash slipped it doesn't matter."

"she is very rich, that's not the reason i love her..."

"hey? Mr vulnerable, i need the cash, can i just go now?"

"you have her money!"

"she left it! i picked it...simple, we never had an implied contract of returning it!"

" lets play another game, my life is way more screwed up then yours, we play who's more on the bad luck streak, if you win you get the money..."

"cool...lets just get out of here, we aren't the crowd pleaser kind! "

we scooped to the nearest Chinese center. Although it began to get dark and i could clearly see nut heads!

"i never won first prize ever!"

he began, 

i stared blank, this was his bad luck? what should i say? Its been six months i heard my Father's voice? i am college less? friend less? hopeless?

"ahh... i don't remember a moment in my life i believed anything was completely true. There was always element of doubt in all "

"not even when you slept by your mother's side?"

"questions were not the part, skip it!"

"i lost my job recently, i am broke..." he gnawed,

"i couldn't reach my college on final documentation day on time , i am college less. "

"the girl , the only girl i loved broke my heart..."

"i don't believe in love, what do you say for that?"

"my mother prefers my younger brother...he is like the apple of her eye.."

"my parents are getting divorced! " i babbled like no trace of emotion were attached to this news...

he stared at me horrified,

"you know what, i don't even know what the hell am i doing, take your cash...i just gotta catch the metro..." i kept the 500 in-front of him, hurried, my eyes fighting hard not to cry... 

"hey wait up!" i heard his voice from a distance,

what the hell had i done? i never shared my things with strangers...i opened it up in-front of him so that he could pity me. I felt rage at my own stupidity!

he paced hard to catch me in few seconds...

"halt" he ordered..

"look that was stupid! you can have this, i can swindle my mom into sending me more, you are jobless..."

"we both are freaks...right? you proved it five minutes before and i by lot many things today!"

i smiled, 

"this belong to both of us in a way, you spotted it and i deserve to veg out on that girl's money..." he continued, while we both stopped,

"yeah, you make sense" i heard myself saying that, it was a relaxed voice...

"you like pizza?"

"sure!"

"lets go to Dominoes and buy ourself a good meal!"

                                                                                                   to be continued 

EPISODIC STORY WRITING

                                                           YOU AGAIN!
PAGE 5

Even while i was applying mascara on my puffy red eyes i knew it was a really bad idea! Crashing on a party uninvited, how could it turn out to be fruitful! The party was supposedly of someone Neha used to know, she blushed while the caller kept insisting her to come down. She wanted to go, i had nothing else to do, suffice is to say we went!
The party was on a rooftop, it was an unofficial party, if busted you gotta deal with people living in the apartment!
Anyways it wasn't anything worth screaming at,
what i expected:- A bunch of rocker dude guys, long hair, hippie looks, booze and lots of girl...some smoking and some dancing! girls and guys nuzzling in an inappropriate manner making the atmosphere cooler!!
what i got:- Mature geeks, boy with boy -cut hairdos, nothing remotely dangerous about them, not even tattooed:( eating pizza secretly on rooftop of some lame apartment building like it was a heinous crime...
THE CHRONICLES OF EMBARRASSMENT

•  i had tank top on (smoldering hot)
• those were the last guys on earth i wanted to attract, computer geeks....
• Neha went on stroll with her old school-mate while i was feeling too aware of myself and the pizza flavor mixed with swigs of cold drink in my mouth 

"hi" a guy sat next to me,

"hi.." 

"you are new here?" the guy with a weird accent asked,

"yeah and i gotta go, my boyfriend is hooking up with some other girl, its an emergency!"

i stood up and didn't bother to turn if he bought my explanation...

the party was shitty and i had no one i could really talk to (guys drooling at me wasn't helping!) 

idea was clear, get the hell outta apartment, get to the metro, reach my station , PG and sleep and kill Neha when she returns!

i walked down the CP METRO station, just when i was about to turn, i saw a genuinely  super-hot girl rummaging her huge Gucci handbag , she was in cue, fanatically searching for her metro card.

In her panic, so much so she spurted the 500 RS note.
Anyways, i was broke and needed the money, so i cowered and surreptitiously took it...until i felt the dark glance falling over me, i never expected to see him again, rather i prayed he never shows up again! yet the idiot from the CP was standing before me, eying my 500 lottery!


                                                                                                                  to be continued

                                                                              

EPISODIC STORY WRITING

                                            THERE can never be 'THE ONE'                                        PAGE 4
Mom called for the third time since morning to 'check in' on me, she was frightened and concerned if i was doing right! 
yeah mom your divorce to dad did wonders to my career and life! don't worry i won't be winding up with a packet of cocaine in a gloomy corner! in fact i am relieved you guys decided to part ways. 
My parents were two different, yet equally arrogant and stubborn people whose parents by sheer bad luck, were close acquaintance....so there union aka marriage was fixed by elders.All through my toddler years followed by strange teen age moments, i saw them fighting...i would run outside, bike with my friend Aastha, sometimes would sneak out on roof. In so many insomniac nights had i wondered why they decided to marry, and if they did why are they still together? can't they see it clearly was a mistake. Around 11 years i decided i would never marry a guy my parents arranged. I like most girls had this fantasy i would meet him, movies like TITANIC, kuch kuch hota hai etc any other sappy romantic one was a good diversion. I was optimistic that things go right! Then my cousin broke up with his long time high-school sweetheart...he was so good to her. She left him for another man, now she is married, has a one year old of her own. The grapevine says her ex has turn alcoholic. So when i was 15 years old i decided i wouldn't marry all together! the concept of love is stupid. I still adhere it now when i am 17.
"hey hi!" neha chirped as she entered our room..
"hi, how have you been?"
"long day at college! "
she sighed,
then for another one hour she amused me with every little detail of the day, and went forward to call her parents and re-tell the same. she was one girl who for once was difficult to keep silent!
second if she was quite you would sense something wrong in the air.
My expectations were low, a very bitchy, snotty, stubborn room-mate covered the picture in the canvas of my mind. On the contrary she was an angel,
"did i tell you i broke my sandals" then she went on to show the broken heel from different angles. 
well, a very talkative angel i may say!
"can i ask you something?"
she hesitated,
"sure!"
"you don't seem to be the party animal kind, your vodka experiment has anything to do with your parents?"
"well how on earth?"
"i don't mean to pry, you were crying last night! "
i don't know if that was her eyes, texture of the voice, sweetness, i poured out...
"well my parents are separating and i waited for this to happen... i mean i thought i was ready but now when its happening for real i feel really low! thats stupid?  "
"no, it sucks...and what you feel you ought to feel!"
i felt good, she wasn't patting me like a homeless puppy, with honey coated words 'its gonna be okay..' i hated people trying to speak of future saying things will be fine, how do you know that? and if you don't you have no right to say its gonna be ok! i was glad she didn't 
"everything said and done! there's nothing like love and your true soul- mate..." i concluded with bitterness

                                             

                                        ***********************
it was the third glass of hot horlicks milk i had since morning, the cold has taken a toll on me, like my love life. i called Amita, she hung up saying to call her back later because she was busy! so where are your manners lady?
shouldn't you say 'Arnav i am busy right now, sorry but i will call you back, bye take care...' and a smile would have made it simple! instead it was 'hey man , i am busy...call me right back..' i have been a watchman, doorman and secretary to this girl...my entire life had i wished for those, ARNAV WEDS AMITA cards! 
"hi dude..." vishal said as he sneaked inside the room, after his night-out and probable one night stand...
"hi.."
"oh man! are you still mourning?"
"she was the one for me!"
"how on earth do you know that? did you future grandchildren time traveled to advice you keep trying on her, to protect their existence?"
"no.." although it was a cute romantic movie!
"then? you don't know she is the one! the whole point of the 'one' going by the mythology is to complete you, all she does is tear you apart, wreck your life! if you believe that you deserve to be loved, stop pitying yourself...go out and have fun dude!"
"and i thought you were the loony jerk who slept around!"
"i like that!" he made a face and derogatory comment about me being a ten year old, even though his alcohol breath was suffocating me, finally Vishal the Casanova and intellectual genius personified  drifted to freshen-up.
may be vishal was right, may be there aren't the 'one' . may be i need to be brave enough to see my life past her, may be the one for me is having a hard time like me! may be she might hate the crap outta word love! 

EPISODIC STORY WRITING

                                                           THE SEPARATION                                           PAGE 3(guy's side)
After the girl stormed off in rage over losing 100 bucks to me, i was all alone. Her assumption about me was absolutely wrong! how can i loathe guys mad for girls? Wasn't i one of them? GIRLS, i was done with them, done being after them!
The worst thing a girl could really do to a guy, after breaking his heart (turning down the proposal he worked so hard on!)  is request 'can we still be friends' really?. To add the already ongoing misery, my lifeless love life! i lost my job.The current market scenario suggests that India won't have any long term effects of heaving recession on the American economy. Good for us!
Except the part nothing really is, the one person who was supposedly struck by recession has to be me! C'mon  what were the chances? one in a million! still its me...
I and Amita (by the way she is amity graduate, name not necessarily derived from there, its her parents far-sighting ) have been friends since 10th grade! she was the princess of my dreams (ok, that does sound gay, but ain't i talking about a girl?) as long as i remember. We were inseparable. The only obvious step was to confront our emotions. She doesn't feel 'that' way!
"hello Vishal! hi man..."
he was my closest buddy in Delhi,
"hey ! wassup?"  he  shouted hyper-excited as if i called to inform how amazing my date went with taylor swift  Britney spears (or whatever doesn't seems like a stupid choice )
 "i need some place to crash!"
"you know my address?"
he asked casually,
"i might be needing it for few days,"
"just squeeze in dude....In my balcony there is my underwear hanging, shake it, you will find the key!"
"yuck! "
"oh c'mon you are secretly wondering what an intelligent guy!"
"on the contrary i am wondering what would be your room like!"
"yeah...stay away from my closet, you mite not like what you find...if any girl bangs door,goes maniac, don't pay even minuscule of attention! "
"sure, thanks dude!"
oh god! what the hell is happening to my life!
current status :- broke and jobless
                                                                                                                         to be continued!

the vantage point

Today while a casual trot alone,
deep into the woods,
i freed myself,
freed from the person caging me...

today while trudging in despair,
i ceased the turbulent blow of thoughts,
saved myself from the person,
the bitter, resentful person...

she comes back every now and then,
whispers into my ears,
'you are lost, immoral and purposeless'
this time i took her to the vantage point...

she loved it,
her immortal pain was washed by the awareness of mortality,
she began to love,
every part of herself...

EPISODIC STORY WRITING

                                                    THE  LOWest  POINT                                             page 2  (girl's  side)

  when  I  first  entered  delhi  from  my  small  town,  most  people  were  pretty  sure  I  will  be  changed,

My  friend's  big  brother  (aka  predecessor) :- you  will  be  more  open  and  non  shy  to  guys,

My  best  friend:-  finally  you  will  have  something  to  wear!  (she  either  meant  my  wardrobe  will  turn  sexy  or  I  will)

The  list  is  pretty  long,  its  been  exact  25  days  since  I  entered  this  place,  nothing  has  happened  for  the  good!  My  parents  back  home  think  I  am  studying  in  DU,  which  of  course  I  am  not!

Reason?  Insanity…

I  choose  to  have  those  bloody  vodka  shots  for  the  first  time  in  my  life  the  very  day  I  had  to  submit  my  documents,  which  going  by  the  luckiest  luck  I  have  ever  had  was  last  day  of  submission...my  newly  found  room- mate  forgot  to  mention  this  tinsy  bit  of  detail,  I  am  suppose  to  drink  in  control,  and  behave  too…

So  after  one  shot  and  another  sixteen  of  them  (god  bless  my  capacity!),   I  went  on  a  rampage  and  shopped  from  7,000  (fees   money  yes!)  a  pair  of  boots  that  kills  my  legs,  a  mattress  (believe  me  that  day  I  was  buying  Leonardo  Dicaprio) 

This  mattress  has  a  huge  smiling  picture  of  him,  my  question  to  the  manufacturing  units,

Are  you  freaking  crazy?

Firstly  such  mattresses  delude  drunken  heads  that  they  are  taking  Leonardo  home,  which  is  way  heartbreaking  for  serious  fans  like  me,

Anyways  the  reason  I  am  wailing  isn't  Leonardo ,  (although  he  would  have  been  such  a  good  remuneration)  its  I  am  college  less  and  broke.  Back  home  everybody  thinks  otherwise...only my  rent  could  be  really  afforded  by  my  parents.

About  the  changes  in  me  because  of  Delhi,

Guys,  as  yet  the  only  jackass  I  tried  talking  stole  the  last  100  bucks  from  me  with  his  insane  bet.

Wardrobe, as  of  now,  its  the  same,  with  my  clothes  smelling  dirt,  lugged  from  different  colleges  where  I  pleaded  for  mercy,  giving  excuses  from  kidney  failure  to  depression!

Nothing  worked…

"Rehya  you  are  screwed  man!"  that  was  my  room-mate  Neha  poking  her  cell  at  the  speed  of  professional  typist!

 Yeah,  that's  me  Rehya...if  you  are  wondering  to  ask  me  what  my  name  means ,  DON'T

It  struck  my  parents(I  obviously  love  the  name),  just  as  it  struck  to  me  to  go  overboard  with  drinks  because  they  were  free! 

UP  until  now  i  never  went  so  down  the  drain....  

EPISODIC STORY WRITING

i  have  no  idea  if  such  a  phenomenon  as  my  title  occurs,  but  here  i  am  trying  to  write  a  story,  (long  one)  would  at least  post  three  pages  per  week,
                                                   chapter 1                                                                                 page 1
                                                                      THE  MEETING
   I  looked  in  his  direction, quite  assured  that  he  was  staring  at  me  too…

few  thing  were  pretty  conclusive  about  this  guy, firstly  he  needed  to  veg  out,  secondly  he  was  friendless  or  dealing  with  his  own  shit  like  me!  Thirdly  and  sadly, he  wasn't  the  'I  make  the  first  move'  kinda  person… I  was  frustrated,  had  few  hours  to  kill,  so  my  insanity  took  the  best  of  me! 

'what  the  heck?'

I  went  ahead,  most  times  CP  is  a  very  populated  place, there  are  probably  many  kinds  of  guys  here,

THE TAKEN  ONES :-  these  are  the  ones  which  are  mostly  accompanied,  sometimes  dragged  by  their  girl.  The  good  ones  wait  in front  of  dressing  rooms,  to  shower  'oh  my  god,  you  look  beautiful!'  on  their  girlfriends.

The  bad  ones  wander  to  check  out  others.

THE  FRIENDLY  ONES :-  these  are  bunch  of  people,  fluttering  in  a  group,  excited  by  the  bunk  or  a  free  day  out.

THE  PERVERTS:- suffice  is  to  say,  these  are  the  kinds  you  hear  comments  from.

He  wasn't  the  usual  kind.

"hi"

I  said  as  I  rested  my  bag  on  the  bench,

"not  interested "  he  did not  bother  to  look  at  me,

Ok,  that  was  pretty  rude  right?  But  never  had  I  ever  met  such  a  rude  guy,  and  he  felt  to  me  'non  psychopath '  ,  in  spite  being  treated  in  'kick  your  ass  way'  I  took  the  pew!

"that  makes  the  two  of  us!"

"oh  yeah?" 

He  had  a  loose  shirt,  sweat  odour,  nothing  remotely  distinctive  about  his  face!

"you  said  'not  interested'  not  to  me,  its  your  chant  word  dude,  its  the  reaction  you  give  to  everything  around  you,   that  happens  to  you!  "

"and  you  are  PHD  in  behavior  psychology   of   strange  guys  sitting  on  benches? "

"something  like  that!"  I  muttered  not  even  closely  irritated

"don't  worry  this  is  not  a  classic  case  of  serendipity,  I  am  terribly  bored,  even  though  there  seems  nothing  interesting  about  you,  just  wanted  to  talk  to  somebody"  I  made  an  honest  confession

"we  have  zero  chemistry, " he  stretched  his  hands 

"I  don't  want  one..."

"lets  play  guessing  game,  I  guess  a  thing  about  you  and  vice  versa!"

"deal,  the  one  with  more  strikes  pays  100  bucks  to  other  and  gets  lost..."  he  said  camouflaging  his  punitive  measures.. 

"game  on!" I  said  this  time  with  interest,

"ok,  judging  by  the  paleness  of  your  skin,  you  diet! "

"true,  strike  one!"  I  said  caring  least  about  lectures  that  might  pour,  best  part  of  being  stranger,  you  can  keep  your  advice  to  yourself...

"you  spent  last  night  on  road!"

"true"

"you  are  the  typical  feminist  type"

"true"

"you  are  one  of  those  guys  who  loathe  your  friends  who  go  crazy  for  girls,"

"false...i  win!"  he  said, 

"you  aren't?"  I  was  pretty  sure  he  was  lying,

"100  bucks?"

I  wasn't  in  a  mood  to  fight  with  the  low  life  cheater,  he  was  finally  successful  in  winning  my  eternal  dislike,

"fine  as@#%&!  "  I  handed  him  the  cash  and  bolted  to  metro  station

                                                                                                                                           TO  BE  CONTINUED....

                                                                                                                                        

A Mentor

Once i received this very famous 'how to influence people and win friends?'(do check the movie 'how to alienate people and loose friends?' by the way!) best-seller book from my uncle. Since then i have this really annoying, most times expensive habit of running and hiding behind the covers of self help books! Infact my so called tough luck is inversely proportional to the gains i provide to publishing industry! whenever something terrible happened i would buy another self help, kinda trying to reconnect with myself, trying to amend those very loose ends! ofcourse it didn't work but my newly found love for these turned into habit!
had a bad day? melt into those lines,
had a real bad day? find a new one by the author,
had the worst day? author changed!
what i have learned about vulnerable times is, they do leave regrets, just like the too much vodka shots down your throat do to your head!
so this one particular month i had in past , i skipped and trust me when i say this, went into rehab from my excessive relying on self help book habits!  instead i sat and tried to hear what my gut was telling me!
it unfortunately said 'you are in deep shit!', that was grotesque... really really uncanny at that...
for the first time i was not trying to tell myself, 'hey,its gonna be ok...' deep down without the so called self help books that drowned the voice of my head, i wasn't denying anything, not even fighting! i left myself to feel everything, i was too scared to feel before. Hurt, unlucky, alone....
i began to speak, (to be honest snap sometimes!) but the key to problem is never outside. To be honest a person, a place, a thing, a song, a book and  a line, they  can never inspire you! what would do is something that's inside....something i can't even name or define....but its there, inside each one of us, and we in certain intense moments in our life have felt it very hard.. so while not trying to fix the problem, i went to this 10 day solace trip to a small village in himachal. i had turned my house upside down to go there, so yeah i was determined to fix few things inside myself when i was outta there.
i behaved mostly. We (me and anonymous)  went to early morning stroll everday. Once out of the blue, this very friendly, wise and elder anonymous person asked if the only reason i was there with her being, i was too scared to embrace happiness that is coming my way... at first i laughed, denied and pretended i don't know what that means...but when you are walking in front of a philospher, instead of turning things against you, they could just give you what they wanted to, and leave you to sort out these strange notions...
what she said to me back then,  still continues is 'no one can really stop you, its the final deal '. I still don't know what exactly this means...she is very insightful, unlike any elder i have known so far. If ever i write a character based on her in any story i scribble , i would be too scared to write down, can't really capture her completely. What she taught me in those ten days, is not to look at life like its a war against the world, or for that matter against those principles that society wants you to adhere, just believe you have your own set, don't need to borrow from others! n yes don't be scared to be lost in the moment, the  happy moments you create bravely are truly the ones that help you get by the really sad ones...
so in spirit of zero regrets, i voice my side now, express my feelings (ok, i try) , getting rid of self-help book disorder(thank goodness!)
that's because of this lady who doesn't even want me to thank her!  but this post is for her,
thank you....
if you read this ever you should know i fear being so transparent to you, but you don't even judge me! its just like my friends!
n yes love you a lot, i am very bad at stating this....
to others who might be reading it and wondering 'what the hell?' so sorry to take your time!