Miss Anonymous

She doesn’t walk, she glides, even in those 3inch long stilettos or boots or whatever is ‘in’, even on practically hard routes where your flats sink . She doesn’t stare, but if caught in a glance, ‘take your eyes off first bitch!’ (No gender discrimination!) She doesn’t panics, but when she does, not a single cuss word will feel ignored or forgotten. It’s her innate talent to raise the mercury level of the room, figure hugging dress and just the close precision of oh! She is a ‘dick magnet’ (am sorry, not my words!) and it’s her anthem ‘SIS before Dick’. She knows Delhi routes like no other person I have met so far, she was on the forefront of ‘slut walk’ and if it was in her power they could rope in PETA activists too, while she just wanted to volunteer because of the scope of nudity it presents. If you are her friend, she doesn’t mind calling you ‘honey’ ‘darling’ or ‘sweetie’ (no gender discrimination again!), something that irritates me but nonetheless ‘I don’t care’ she is quick to shut my mouth with this. Every time I scrounge my eyes around, trying to spot her, her shrill loud yell of ‘sexy! Here’ and a guilty wave of hand, she calls me this in front of god knows how many guys! I clench my teeth; swear under my breath, only to be grabbed by her hand as if I am her ‘private property’ of the day. On my count she has dated four guys so far (record of last three months), a coffee, a lunch and ‘am sorry I am still stuck up with my past’, she carries this with no guilt. Considering myself enough of a modernist I don’t judge her private life, yet every now and then I utter ‘don’t go too far,’, and then she goes mushy, ‘you care for me honey, don’t you?’ and I just wanna say don’t call me honey! And yet I worry she might have bought herself some trouble in the form of sociopath X boyfriend, a marauding bastard, god knows how safe Delhi is for a girl with mindset of New York.

She drinks, she smokes, and I fear drugs might not be so out of reach. She is the first girl who talked me into buying my first pair of stilettos, (My BFF would have, but then she needs to talk herself first into It.) she irritates teachers so much, even the ones who see her twice a week. Every time she sees me off, she says ‘love you!’, and when initially I replied with awkward gaze, she was quick with ‘fuck off!’ now that I have grown use to her, (she calling me twice a week just to talk) I intently say ‘I love you too’ at the same time adding ‘sissy’ (just to make sure!). She says she is Samantha and I am Carrie Bradshaw, (which I don’t mind except my genre of writing hopefully will never explore that area).

Last week she shouted from a distance ‘bye sexy’ to which I mustered ‘fuck off!’ shout and the rest of the people at metro station were staring at me wide eyed, making it one of the most embarrassing moment of my life.

‘Oh boy! This girl is changing me.’